Summary: Fred reflects... On Spike
Rating: R
Story Notes: Companion piece to Home Is Where The Heart Is. Inspired by
Echo, and the need for something more in my writing. Please let me
know what you think. Fred's POV
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Joss Whedon,
Mutant Enemy etc.
Site: Breathtaking
I've given up on trying to work out why I like him so much. I think it's his eyes, they're so blue, like the ocean, I could drown in them. Sometimes they look like those little electrical sparks that flash when you touch two wires together, usually when he's wanting to vent his anger on something, or Angel.
He calls Angel peaches. Always makes me giggle when he says that. it just doesn't sound right, that word coming out of that mouth. His mouth. I love how his lips curve when he smiles properly. I'm lucky. He smiles at me all the time. I mean, really smiles. With the other's it's just smirks and grins, but when he smiles at me, I feel like the whole world has stopped spinning on it's axis and that it's just me and him here; floating in our own world. A world where he truly smiles. His smile is amazing.
And you should see him fight. He fights with a grace I've never seen in a man before. Or a vampire, even Angel doesn't look like that when he fights. Spike looks like he's dancing, he makes killing look elegant I s'pose. He leads his opponent in a twisted melody of turns and ducks, and then without second thought he strikes, like a snake, and they're dead, or dust.
I'm not stupid. I know what he is. I know what he was. A master vampire. William the Bloody, who tortured people with railroad spikes and made his name with The Scourge Of Europe. I've read about him, about all the terrible things he's done, but there's only one thing I can ever concentrate on. Drusilla.
He loved her so much. Doted on her for over a century, and had his heart broken because of it. Oh, he can love. You may not think it, but he can, and he doesn't need a soul to do it. I saw it the first time I met him when I stopped Angel from killing him. I saw his goodness. I saw his heart. It made me feel warm and safe again. Protected. Like I just knew that with Spike around, everything would be okay.
Dawn loves him. She's a great kid, and he loves her so much. I think she reminds him of Buffy. Nobody talks about her much, but when Spike does, I can just tell she was amazing. That she was special. That he loved her.
Angel's talking about a demon that needs to be killed. Oh I have a great idea. Maybe I could alter the angle of the machine I made to kill that demon that one time with the axe. If I did that, the rotational mechanics would be changed and it would cut of the demon's hand. then they could kill it without getting hurt. I tell them what I'm thinking. It all comes out wrong. I babble when I'm nervous. Not being around people for five years will do that to you. I hate Pylea.
Spike's looking at me. He smiles and I smile back. then my stomach turns upside over like it usually does when he smiles at me, and I shy away. I can't let him know how I feel. His own heart needs to heal before I can help it bloom.
This Krugarnan demon sounds horrible. it's killed at least ten people in the past day. Cordy tells everyone where they can find it. I have a bad feeling about this. Deep in my stomach.
Angel goes to the cabinet and gets his sword. he loves that thing. I'm sure he'd sleep with it if he could. Spike gets the axe. he looks so sexy with it swung over his shoulder like that. I remember when he lifted me over his shoulder like that and carried me downstairs to the lobby. He was so gentle. Carried me like I was precious...special. Placed me down and said "Now, I want you to try an come down every day luv." "Okay" I said. "No okay's pet, promise me you'll do it." he said. "I promise," I replied. I've been out of my room every day since then. For him. Because I promised.
He always makes me feel good about it too. Bought me ice cream for the first week. We watched movies after that, in his room. I love the way he looks when he lies on his bed. The sheets are black, so the contrast is breath taking. he is so beautiful. Not a term usually used to describe men, but that's what he is. Spike is beautiful.
He walks over to me as I head towards the stairs. "Be careful" I say. "Always am luv" he replies. "I know" I say, even though I don't. It makes him feel better if I believe him, but Spike, fighting and being careful. I don't think so. he gets into trouble when he goes to the mini mart for his cigarettes. I'm sure he picks fights, in fact, I know he picks fights, he's a vampire. With an attitude.
He touches my arm and I shudder. I feel little tingles spread through my whole body, from my head to my toes. If one touch does that to me... I feel his unneeded breath on my cheek, and the shudder intensifies. I nearly lose my balance. I can feel my knees giving way. What is he doing to me?
"You make me feel like I'm home," he says. Oh God, is he saying what I think he's saying. Did I just hear that right? my heart's pounding so fast in my chest I feel like I'm gonna pass out. Does he... Oh god, I can't do this. What do I say?
I go with the truth. "You are," I reply. then I take a big hump o' courage and do something. "Right here." I say. I take his hand and place it just over my heart. I know he feels how fast it beats. How fast it beats for him. I turn and run upstairs.
As I get to the top, I turn round, and lean over the banister. I look at him and smile. My hair is a mess, and I probably look like a goof, but I do it anyway. I try to be sexy.
He smiles back.
I turn the corner and lean against the wall. My breathing is heavy, my heart is pounding and I'm sweating. He makes me feel so warm. He makes me feel... everything. Everything I've never felt before, and I want to feel so much more. I rest my head against the wall a moment longer then head to my room.
As I go in and relax on my bed, I think about Spike. About the touch on my arm. About how I feel. About his words. About my words. About his eyes, and his smile.
He is breath taking.
I was right.
He is home.